Salted chocolate-pretzel peanut butter cookies

You are King Midas.

You have the power to turn everything around you to gold. 

You are a wonderfully gifted and eternally beautiful person, 

And I thank the winds every time I think of you.

•     •     •

Thom's words of wisdom during a time when I felt as though my entire world was crumbling beneath my feet. If your world is crumbling (or even if it's not), just remember - you are King Midas.

Let's turn everything to gold.

Notes: Cookies can be made gluten free by replacing the flour with a gluten free flour blend + 1/4 teaspoon xanthan gum and the pretzels with gluten free pretzels. If you prefer your cookies light and fluffy (opposed to thin and chewy), don't smash the cookies with a fork - lightly flatten them with the palm of your hand. I use Jif natural peanut butter in this recipe because it's really fucking delicious - but if you're opposed to the company, use a different natural peanut butter. Just make sure it's smooth and creamy. SERIOUSLY. If you want to replace the shortening with vegan butter, that will work - but the cookies will be a bit more oily. Also, someone try this recipe with salty potato chip crumbs and let me know how it turns out. Or graham crackers. Oh, and to make finely ground pretzel crumbs, simply blend pretzels in a food processor for 1-2 minutes - tada!

SALTED CHOCOLATE-PRETZEL PEANUT BUTTER COOKIES

1/4 cup non-hydrogenated shortening
1/2 cup creamy peanut butter
1/2 cup cane sugar
1/4 cup sucanat
1 tsp pure vanilla extract
1 flax egg
2 tbsp non-dairy milk
1/4 tsp fine sea salt
1/4 tsp baking soda
3/4 cup unbleached flour
1/2 cup finely ground pretzel crumbs
1/4 cup vegan mini chocolate chips
Coarse sea salt, for topping

Preheat oven to 350˚F. Line two large baking sheets with silicone mats or parchment paper; set aside. In a large mixing bowl, cream the shortening, peanut butter, sugars, and vanilla extract using a hand mixer on high speed for one minute. Add the flax egg and milk; beat until incorporated. Stir in the salt, baking soda, flour, and pretzel crumbs with a wooden spoon; mix until combined then stir in the chocolate chips.

Using a 1 1/2 tablespoon cookie scoop, drop the dough onto the prepared baking sheets and flatten with a fork. Sprinkle with coarse sea salt. Chill baking sheets in freezer for at least 15 minutes - this helps the cookies retain their shape, so don't skip it. Bake at 350˚F for 10-12 minutes (one sheet at a time). Transfer to wire rack to cool then store in an air tight container. Will keep for up to three days.

*Frozen cookies can be stored in the freezer and baked as needed.

Yield: about 30 cookies

Brownie cakes with chocolate coconut frosting

We laid on the couch, bodies intertwined and covered with a heavy knit blanket that was a foot too short for our long bodies. The house was dark, but dimly lit from the glowing city just outside our window. A city that was alive and bustling with noisy people amidst the rain; they were honking their horns at bus drivers and shouting at the valet from the entrance of Kimbal Musk's fancy eatery. It's called The Kitchen and, although I dig their philosophy, I don't subscribe to their version of fine dining because I don't think a small bowl of bland ass quinoa served with a few roasted vegetables should cost $18. Let alone be considered a meal. But that's not the point, the point is that there were noisy people outside my house and all I wanted to do was open the window and tell them to quiet down because I can count on three fingers the number of times I've been home to witness the sound of hundreds of millions of water molecules hitting the roof over my head. And you know what? I think that's kind of unfortunate.

So the rain. It lightly spattered the tin roof and we listened intently, trying hard to block out the chatter from the masses of noisy people below. At one point, an obnoxious group of what was probably a bachelorette party spent five minutes too long standing at the intersection of 16th and Wazee. It wouldn't have been an issue except one of the attendees had one of the loudest, most unpleasant laughs I've heard in the entirety of my life. I leapt from the couch with every intention of heckling her (it's actually one of my favorite things to do, heckle people from our fourth story loft) (sometimes I'm an ass), but just as the window cracked open I caught the faintest scent of petrichor as it drifted through the humid night air. And then I forgot about the lady with the obnoxious laugh because I love that smell, but not as much as I love laying on his chest and listening to his heart as it pounds beneath his ribcage. Have you ever done that? Laid on your lover's chest and just listened to the sound of the one thing that's keeping their blood flowing and organs working and, essentially, making their entire world go 'round? So I went back over to the couch and placed my head over his perfectly rhythmic chest instrument. And I listened.

Buh-bum buh-bum buh-bum buh-bum buh-bum buh-bum buh-bum buh-bum buh-bum buh-bum buh-bum buh-bum

Tell me a story, I said.
No, you tell me a story, he replied. I always tell you stories.
Tell me about Europe, I begged.

And so, without a moment of hesitation, he started rambling on about Europe. About climbing to the top of Ben Nevis, riding bikes around Amsterdam, and visiting all of our favorite places in Paris. Taking the lovers walk on the Italian Riviera and drinking hefeweizen from enormous steins at Oktoberfest in Munich. Hiking through the Šumava and spending long afternoons on the sandy beaches of Croatia, where Roman emperors used to retire. He went on and on, telling me about the history of each of the countries we're visiting this summer. 19 of them total. Nineteen different countries and cultures and a dozen different languages over the course of four months, from July to November.

His infinite wisdom eventually put me to sleep. Not because I was disinterested, but because it's so soothing to listen to someone pour the intellectual contents of their brain onto you. Like the rain on the tin roof, only better. Better than the petrichor or Matt Berninger's voice or finding my favorite chocolate in the pocket of my jeans. Ok, maybe not better than finding chocolates hidden in my clothes, but you get the point. Right? So this summer, we're heading to Europe for the adventure of a lifetime, and if you live there or have plans on being there, too, we'd love to get together. Seriously, let's get together.

Also, I've got a little bonus for you before we get to the recipe. Our sweet new friend, Kathryn, came to photograph our place last weekend and the final shots are now up on her site. Please no remarks about my stringy hair, mom jeans, or the fact I spelled je t'aime all sorts of wrong. In my defense, I was in a hurry to write something on the jar before Kathryn snapped a photo. And. Well. French is not my first language. In hindsight, I should have just drawn a big heart. Or maybe boobs because that would be funny.

Notes: These cakes are dense - they're literally a cross between a brownie and a cupcake; not as dense as a brownie, not as light as a cupcake. If you don't have cacao powder, natural cocoa powder will work. They're essentially the same thing as far as baking is concerned. Same goes for the spelt flour; unbleached flour or a gluten free flour blend substitute well. I do not recommend making a substitute for the coconut oil, as it gives the cakes a mild coconut flavor and pairs well with the frosting. Speaking of frosting, you can use any liquid sweetener you want - maple syrup, agave nectar, brown rice syrup, etc. I've been finishing off a bottle of coconut nectar, or else I'd have probably used brown rice syrup. You'll have to adjust the amount depending on how sweet your like your frosting.

Update: I recommend using a bar that's at least 70% cacao. I've used bars from Lake Champlain, Chocolove, and Ikea. Although I'm not sure Ikea is considered good quality, it produced a damn good brownie cake.

BROWNIE CAKES WITH CHOCOLATE COCONUT FROSTING

Brownie cakes
1 1/4 cups whole spelt flour
1/2 cup cacao powder
1 tsp fine sea salt
1/4 tsp baking powder
6 tbsp unrefined coconut oil
3 oz good quality dark chocolate, chopped
1 cup cane sugar
1 tsp pure vanilla extract
2 flax eggs
1 1/4 cups boiling water

Chocolate coconut frosting
1 1/2 cups shredded coconut
1/4 cup full fat coconut milk
4-6 tbsp coconut nectar
1 tsp pure vanilla extract
3 tbsp cacao powder
Pinch of fine sea salt

Preheat oven to 350˚F. Line a 12 cup muffin pan with paper liners; set aside. In a large mixing bowl, sift together the flour, cacao powder, sea salt, and baking powder; set aside. In a double boiler over medium heat, melt the coconut oil and chocolate, then stir in the sugar and vanilla extract. Create a well in the center of the dry ingredients and pour in the chocolate mixture, flax eggs, and boiling water; whisk vigorously to combine. Add a heaping 1/4 cup of batter to each muffin liner, then bake at 350˚F for 16-18 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean. Allow cakes to rest in pan for 5 minutes then transfer to a wire rack to cool. Cakes will keep in an air tight container for up to three days.

While the cakes are cooling, prepare the frosting by adding the shredded coconut and coconut milk to a food processor fitted with the S blade. Blend until mostly smooth, scraping down the sides as needed. Once smooth, add 4 tablespoons of the coconut nectar and vanilla extract; pulse to combine. Sift in the cacao powder and sea salt then pulse until incorporated. Taste the frosting; if it needs to be a bit sweeter, add more nectar. If you want it to be thinner, add a bit more coconut milk (1-2 tablespoons). Once the cakes have cooled, generously frost them and serve immideately.

Yield: 1 dozen cakes

Cereal milk ice cream

We sat curled up on the couch, braving the steady stream of chilly air that snuck through the seams of the industrial windows. I knew those things were going to be trouble the moment I laid eyes on them, but at the time I didn't care. I was entranced by the immense amount of natural light they let into the main living area. And their ability to open downward, making them perfect for rainy days. Except we hardly ever have rainy days. This, much like the situation with the cold, I didn't conceive until after we were months deep into our lease. After I had fallen in love with our little home at the top of an old warehouse, ten times over.

That evening, our bodies were wrapped in blankets, our feet in two pairs of socks. It was cold. But not cold enough to squander his insatiable craving for ice cream. A craving I tried so hard to suffocate with copious amounts of chocolate and other sugary things, but I had no luck. As it turns out, you can't just sweep a man's ice cream craving (or any craving, for that matter) under the rug because it comes back full force days later. When it's five below zero. It's too cold for ice cream, I told him. But he didn't care. He wanted it. Bad.

I untangled our feet and went to abandon my comfy spot on the couch, hoping he'd drag me back down and make me stay. Because I like to think that the warmth from my body reigns supreme to the satisfaction that comes with eating ice cream. Turns out it doesn't, because he let me go into the cold. And so I put on an extra pair of striped long johns, his slippers, one of his thermals, a sweater, and a down parka. All of this to make ice cream for the man who complains about not getting warm waffles in the morning, but then sleeps through breakfast when I finally get around to making them (side note: I have waffles every morning, he's just not up early enough to bask in the deliciousness). Despite not getting waffles on demand, this man is loved. I hope he knows that.

When the ice cream was ready, I scooped it into pretty bowls and we shivered on the couch and laughed about the fact that our loft was 57˚ and we were shoveling spoonfuls of frozen, milky goodness into our mouths. It was then that I decided to order a space heater. Because eating ice cream next to a surge of heat seemed much more enjoyable than the current situation, which was eating ice cream on our frozen couch, swaddled in so many blankets we could hardly move.

To tide us over until aforementioned heating device arrived, I took a page from the book of a little punk I used to nanny. Let me preface this by saying it was not my proudest moment. I retrieved my hair dryer from the bathroom and used it to heat our blanket cave, to which Thom completely objected up until the moment he realized he could feel his toes again. I'm going to go ahead and say that you should not use a hair dryer as your own personal heater because it absolutely is not safe. Unless your living room is 57˚. Then I'd venture to say that keeping warm takes precedence over any risks or dangers associated with using a hair dryer for anything other than drying your hair.

But really, don't do it.

Notes: This recipe calls for more coconut milk than usual because the cereal absorbs a lot of the milk (about one can's worth). I've made this with light coconut milk (and almond milk - holla!), but if you do this you'll want to soak the cereal overnight. It won't be nearly as creamy as the full fat coconut milk variety, but it's pretty damn close. Growing up, I always loved fruity cereal milk so I went with Cascadian Farm Fruitful O's. But feel free to use any kind of cereal you want - a few favorite cereals are Original Puffins, Peanut Butter Panda Puffs, and Chocolate Koala Crisp.

PS - I've got a s'mores version coming at you once the temperatures start to rise. Complete with graham cracker cereal milk, fluffy marshmallows, and chunks of rich dark chocolate.

CEREAL MILK ICE CREAM

5 cups cereal
5 1/4 cups full fat coconut milk (3 cans)
1/4 cup cane sugar
1 tsp pure vanilla extract

Add the cereal to a large mixing bowl. Cover with coconut milk and stir to combine. Place a large, heavy plate on top to ensure the cereal is sumberged the entire time. Refrigerate for 2 hours, stirring every 30 minutes. Once the cereal has soaked, use a fine mesh strainer to strain the mixture over a medium saucepan; make sure to firmly press the cereal mush to get out as much coconut milk as possible. After you've pressed out as much of milk you can get, scoop the layer of thick cream that formed on the bottom of the strainer into the pot. Set the saucepan over medium heat and whisk in the sugar and vanilla extract; bring to a boil and whisk vigorously for 45 seconds. Remove from heat and transfer the mixture to a large bowl. Allow to cool for 30 minutes, then cover with plastic wrap and chill in the refrigerator for at least 4 hours. Once chilled, pour the mixture into the bowl of your ice cream machine and mix according to the manufacturer's instructions. Eat ice cream immideately (it will be somewhat soft) or transfer to a container and freeze until ready to consume. Thaw for 10-15 minutes before serving. Top with crushed cereal, if desired.

Yield: about 1 quart

Dark chocolate coconut oatmeal cookies

For the first thirteen years of my life, 18 December was a day where we gathered around a table, with cake and ice cream, to celebrate the birth of my Great Oma. Despite the fact that she's been gone for eleven years, I still consider 18 December to be her day. So today I celebrate the life of my favorite woman in the entirety of existence, because doing anything else just seems wrong.

That lady, I miss her deep wrinkles and unintentional frown. I miss the way we used to spend late mornings in our pajamas, watching the Price is Right. I’d try my best to sync the rocking chair to the tick of the clock, and she’d crochet on the couch across the room. I never liked that couch, but I liked watching her crochet. Her knobby fingers were quick, creating cloths we would use to wash dishes, and delicate pink doilies that would line the bottoms of things capable of scratching her fine wood tables. I didn’t know it then, but a few of those doilies would later adorn my bedside table. I miss the way she used to spoon sugar over my bran flakes, and the look she'd give me when I'd ask for Just one more spoonful, please? She's the reason bran cereal is the only cereal I'll ever eat. Except now I eat it sans sugar and have a tendency to drown it in almond milk. I miss sneaking into her bedroom and going through the tray of clip-on earrings she tucked into the top drawer of her dresser. After all these years, I can still hear her lecturing me about her thoughts on pierced ears - If God wanted us to have holes in our earlobes, he'd have put them there!





These cookies, they're a jazzed up version of the ones we used to make together. I can still picture her standing at the kitchen counter, hunched over the mixing bowl trying to scrape every last bit of shortening from the measuring cup. She'd spoon the dough onto a baking sheet, put the cookies into the oven, then sit down at the breakfast nook and tend to her crocheting. She was always crocheting, and I was always waiting for the cookies to finish baking. Like the anxious child I was, I'd sit right in front of the oven - nose pressed up against the window - watching the cookies as they came to life.

Sometimes I close my eyes and picture myself as that blonde haired girl sitting cross-legged in front of a 350˚ oven. In this moment I can feel her sitting within arm's reach. I can hear her humming and tapping her foot to the beat of some made up tune, and I can smell the cookies baking in the oven. This moment, it grounds me and reminds me to breathe. It reminds me that all I have to do is close my eyes and there she is, living in my memory; sitting right beside me, just as she had never left.

As the days pass, I find myself missing her more and more. I long for her wisdom and warmth, and the way she used to embrace my shoulders and kiss my forehead one thousand times. But more than anything, I long to be that small girl again, baking alongside her in the kitchen. I didn't appreciate it much then, but those moments of baking together so perfectly illustrate my childhood. I was lucky to call her mine for thirteen whole years.

To my sweet lady in the sky, I love you immensely. And I will never stop celebrating you.

Notes: These cookies are delicate and more complicated than your average cookie, but they're worth the extra effort. If dark chocolate + toasted coconut aren't your thing, you should probably see a doctor. Just kidding - omit them and add something else. Or add nothing. The cookies can be made gluten free by replacing the spelt flour with a gluten free flour blend (I recommend 1/2 cup all purpose + 1/2 cup buckwheat), but make sure you add 1/4 teaspoon of xanthan gum. I use unsweetened shaved coconut, but if you plan on using that moist, stringy crap, I recommend finely chopping it first. Also, how to toast coconut.

DARK CHOCOLATE COCONUT OATMEAL COOKIES

1 cup spelt flour
1/2 tsp fine sea salt
3/4 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp ground cinnamon
1/4 cup unrefined coconut oil, softened
1/2 cup coconut milk fat
2/3 cup muscovado sugar
1 tsp pure vanilla extract
1 flax egg
3/4 cup coarsely ground rolled oats
1/2 cup toasted coconut shavings
1/3 cup chopped dark chocolate

Preheat oven to 350˚F. Line two large baking sheets with a silicone mat or parchment paper; set aside. In a large mixing bowl, whisk together the flour, salt, baking powder, and cinnamon; set aside. In a small mixing bowl, cream together the oil, milk fat, sugar and vanilla extract using a hand mixer on high speed; blend for 45-60 seconds. Add the flax egg and mix just until incorporated. If you can see clumps of coconut oil (which may develop when you add the cold flax egg), set the bowl on top of your warm oven and continue mixing, just until the clumps dissolve. Add the dry mixture to the wet mixture in two parts; stirring after each addition. Once the dough is combined, mix in the oats, coconut, and chocolate. Dough is best if wrapped in plastic and refrigerated overnight - but if you don't have time for that, proceed to the next step. I figured most of you wouldn't have time.

Using a medium (1 1/2 tablespoon) cookie scoop, drop the dough onto the prepared baking sheet; flatten with the palm of your hand. Their shape won't change much in the oven, so flatten to whatever thickness you prefer. Bake at 350˚F for 8 minutes. Cool on a wire rack, then store in an air tight container for up to three days.

Yield: 30 cookies

Pumpkin pie sundaes

My mind is cluttered and full this week; bursting with lists of to-dos, to-mights and to-probably will nots. And for that, I am wordless. Leaving you with a beautiful, thought-provoking letter that Jack Kerouac wrote to his first wife, Edie. It sends feel-good chills up my spine. I hope it does the same for you, too.

• • •

“I have lots of things to teach you now, in case we ever meet, concerning the message that was transmitted to me under a pine tree in North Carolina on a cold winter moonlit night. It said that Nothing Ever Happened, so don't worry. It's all like a dream. Everything is ecstasy, inside. We just don't know it because of our thinking-minds. But in our true blissful essence of mind is known that everything is alright forever and forever and forever.

Close your eyes, let your hands and nerve-ends drop, stop breathing for 3 seconds, listen to the silence inside the illusion of the world, and you will remember the lesson you forgot, which was taught in immense milky way soft cloud innumerable worlds long ago and not even at all. It is all one vast awakened thing. I call it the golden eternity. It is perfect. We were never really born, we will never really die. It has nothing to do with the imaginary idea of a personal self, other selves, many selves everywhere: self is only an idea, a mortal idea. That which passes into everything is one thing. It's a dream already ended. There's nothing to be afraid of and nothing to be glad about. I know this from staring at mountains months on end. They never show any expression, they are like empty space. Do you think the emptiness of space will ever crumble away? Mountains will crumble, but the emptiness of space, which is the one universal essence of mind, the vast awakenerhood, empty and awake, will never crumble away because it was never born.

The world you see is just a movie in your mind."

Notes: To make the pie crust cookies gluten free, simply replace the flours with a gluten free flour blend and xanthan gum. If you don't have a vanilla bean on hand, substitute 1/2 teaspoon of pure vanilla extract. Also, you don't have to add the coconut water to the coconut whipped cream, but I like it to be slightly less dense than what it is without the addition of coconut water. So, do as you wish.

PUMPKIN PIE SUNDAES

6 tbsp whole wheat flour 1/4 cup unbleached flour 1 tsp cane sugar 1 small pinch fine sea salt 1/4 cup vegan butter, cold 1-2 tbsp water, ice cold

1 can full fat coconut milk, refrigerated overnight 1 tbsp powdered sugar 1/2 vanilla bean, split and scraped 1 tbsp cinnamon sugar Pumpkin spice ice cream

Preheat oven to 350˚F. Line a small baking sheet with parchment paper; set aside. In a large mixing bowl, combine the flours, cane sugar and salt; stir until combined. Using a pastry cutter, or two knives, cut the butter into the flour mixture until it resembles coarse meal with a few larger chunks. Add the water and mix the crumbles with your hands, just until a dough forms. Pat the dough into a round ball and set aside.

Line a flat surface with parchment paper and sprinkle with flour. Roll out the dough into a large circle, about 1/4" thick. Using a small cookie cutter (I used leaf shaped cutters), cut the dough and transfer the pieces to the prepared baking sheet. Freeze for 10 minutes then sprinkle with cinnamon sugar. Bake at 350˚F for 6-7 minutes. Allow to cool on baking sheet, then store in an air tight container until ready to use.

Remove the coconut milk from the fridge and scoop out the thick, white layer of fat on top. Reserve 2 teaspoons of the coconut water, then store the remainder for later use (in smoothies), if desired. Using a handheld electric mixer, cream the coconut milk fat, 2 teaspoons of coconut water, powdered sugar and vanilla bean on high speed for 1-2 minutes, or until light and fluffy. 

To assemble the sundaes, put a few scoops of ice cream into 4-6 bowls. Divide pie pieces between the bowls and top with coconut whipped cream. Add a sprinkle of cinnamon for good measure. Enjoy!

Yield: 4-6 sundaes

Coconut scones

I got off of work later than usual one night last week. I also, unusually, brought my laptop along to work. Because the 3-4 hours I get paid to do nothing seemed like the perfect opportunity to edit some photos. Anyway, dark clouds started rolling in and all I could think about was how silly I was for not checking the daily forecast. Of the ten days a year precipitation falls from the sky, one of them has to be the day I bring something extremely valuable to work. WHY WAS I NOT PREPARED FOR THIS?

So, I texted Thom and asked him to send good vibes to the rain gods. You know, to convince them to hold off on the torrential downpour until my laptop was safe inside the house. Good vibes were sent, as were weird text messages. The entire ride home I received questions like: At which stop are you getting off? How far are you? Are you getting close? All I wanted to say was Dude, bug off! It's a little rain and I'm a big lady. I'll make it home ok. I didn't put two and two together, which is why I was totally surprised when the bus rolled up to the stop and there was Thom - standing in the pouring rain - with an umbrella. Ready to walk me and my precious laptop all 40 feet to our front door.



It took my breath away. And as hard as I try, I can never fully comprehend the magnitude of his presence on my being. He enriches my life in more ways than I have fingers and toes. And every morning I roll over to his oily head, I thank the winds for the unfortunate circumstances that lead us to one another. Lately, I've been so caught up with school, work and the blog, that I haven't expressed my appreciation for him as much as I should. So, when he got sick two nights ago, I decided to wake up first thing yesterday morning and make him something comforting for breakfast. Scones. Chock full of coconut and undivided love.

These scones are so full of coconut flavor that it makes my heart sing. Five of the nine ingredients are coconut derived - and it's freaking awesome. We prefer our scones slightly on the dry side, so if you prefer yours moist, add 7 total tablespoons of coconut yogurt. Also, I used pastry flour to yield a lighter scone. If you'd prefer a dense scone, replace the pastry flour with (more) unbleached flour. And yes - these babies can be made gluten free by replacing the flour with a gluten free flour blend and xanthan gum.

COCONUT SCONES

1 cup unbleached flour 1 cup whole wheat pastry flour 1/2 cup coconut sugar 1 cup fine shredded coconut 1/2 tsp fine sea salt

2 tsp baking powder 1/4 cup coconut oil, solid 1/3 cup coconut yogurt 1/2 cup coconut milk, full fat

Preheat oven to 375˚F. Line a large baking sheet with a silicone mat or parchment paper; set aside. In a large bowl, whisk together the flours, sugar, coconut, salt and baking powder. Cut in the coconut oil until the mixture resembles coarse meal; set aside. In a small bowl, stir together the yogurt and milk. Create a well in the center of the flour mixture and pour in the yogurt mixture. Scoop the dry ingredients from from the bottom of the bowl and fold over the wet ingredients. Repeat this just until the mixture is combined. Do not over mix the dough. If the dough is too wet, add additional flour 1 tablespoon at a time.

Line a flat surface with parchment paper and sprinkle lightly with flour. Pat the dough into a large circle, about 1 inch thick. Using a sharp knife, cut the dough into eight triangular segments. Transfer the dough segments to the prepared baking sheet. If desired, lightly brush each scone with melted coconut oil and sprinkle with vanilla sugar. Bake at 375˚F for 16-18 minutes, or until golden. Transfer to a wire rack to cool then store in an air tight container for up to three days. Unbaked dough can be kept frozen in the freezer. Simply place the scone segments in a freezer safe container, until ready to use.

Yield: 8 scones

Bite size brownies

I'm a fan of bite size everything - from almond joy and chocolate dipped shortbread, to gingerbread folk and these brownies. But - if I'm going to be completely honest here - part (ok, most) of the reason I decided to make bite size brownies is because the mister is one of those people who'll cut a brownie from the pan and go eat it on the couch. Without a plate. Or a napkin. Which means CRUMBS GET EVERYWHERE. Because, contrary to popular belief, his hand is not a sufficient crumb catcher.

My solution? Bite size brownies. They go straight from the jar, into his mouth. And don't create any crumbs. Which means no clean up for the lady.

If you're not a fan of brownie edges, these are not for you. No ooey-gooey centers, here - just soft, chewy, bite size brownie goodness. And if you want to make the brownies even more decadent, top them with a dollop of that two ingredient caramel sauce.

I used sucanat in these brownies because I wanted a slight hint of molasses. But you can certainly substitute cane sugar, or any other sugar. I used oil based butter, which produced a brownie that's crunchy on the outside, but you can replace the butter with vegetable shortening for a softer (and less oily) brownie. This is also a really simple recipe to make gluten free by replacing the flour with a gluten free flour blend and xanthan gum. The thicker the dough, the better (mine could have been rolled into cookies) - so if you add the flour and it's still sticky, continue adding small amounts of flour until the dough is nice and firm.

BITE SIZE BROWNIES

6 tbsp vegan butter 1/2 cup vegan chocolate chips 1 1/4 cup sucanat 1 tsp pure vanilla extract 2 tbsp flax meal

1/4 cup filtered water 3/4 tsp fine sea salt 1/4 tsp baking soda 1/2 cup cacao powder 1 1/4 cup unbleached flour

Preheat oven to 350˚F. In a double boiler over medium heat, melt the butter into the chocolate chips; heat just until melted and remove from heat. Stir in the sugar and vanilla extract; set aside. In a small mixing bowl, stir together the flax meal and water; set aside. In a large mixing bowl, whisk together the salt, baking soda, cacao powder and flour. Stir in the chocolate mixture, as well as the flax mixture, and mix just until combined. The batter should be thick. Using a 1 teaspoon cookie scoop, scoop the batter and drop it into each of the wells of a silicone tray. I used two silicone trays with 18 1" cube wells. Place the tray(s) onto a cookie sheet and bake at 350˚F for 18-20 minutes. Allow the brownies to cool in the trays for five minutes, then transfer to a wire rack. Store in an air tight container for up to five days.

Yield: approximately 90 brownie bites

Chocolate hazelnut tartlets

If you haven't noticed, I'm really into simple recipes. Like chocolate hazelnut tartlets. And I'm even more into recipes that aren't time consuming. Like chocolate hazelnut tartlets. Because any recipe that requires me to dirty half of the dishes in my kitchen - then stand over the sink for an hour, scrubbing butter and crumbs out of the crevices of the pan - will never be featured on this blog.

Which brings me to this: I don't like the kitchen as much as you might think. I like it just enough to bake in it. And create simple, not time consuming things. If the first word that comes to your mind is lazy.. you're probably right. But don't ever tell me that to my face. Cause I'll smack you. Then run like a little bitch.

As simple as this is, it's really quite decadent. I used two, single origin chocolate bars from one of my favorite chocolate companies - Askinosie. However, you could get by with using any chocolate, since Askinosie chocolate bars aren't exactly easy on the pocketbook. To me, they're worth every penny. Especially if you're sharing these tartlets with guests. The crust can be made gluten free by replacing the flour with gluten free flour(s) of your choice. For a sweeter filling, increase the maple syrup to 1/2 cup; for a lighter tart, reduce the chocolate to 3 ounces. And between you and me, you can totally just make the chocolate filling, store it in the fridge for 20 minutes, then enjoy it as chocolate mousse.

CHOCOLATE HAZELNUT TARTLETS

3/4 cup hazelnut meal 1 1/4 cup spelt flour 2-3 tbsp sucanat 1/2 cup vegan butter, cold

6 oz good quality dark chocolate 12 oz lite firm silken tofu 1/4 cup maple syrup Pinch of fine sea salt

Preheat oven to 350˚F. In a large mixing bowl, whisk together the hazelnut meal, flour and sucanat. Cut in the butter until the mixture resembles a coarse meal. If the dough is too crumbly and doesn't stick together when pressed between your fingers, add cold water 1 tablespoon at a time, until the desired consistency is reached. Divide mixture evenly between 4 4" tartlet pans and firmly press the dough up the sides of the pans. Poke a few holes in the bottom of the crusts. Bake crusts at 350˚F for 4-5 minutes, or just until a hazelnut aroma fills your kitchen.

In a double boiler over medium heat, melt the chocolate. Transfer to a high speed blender, such as a Vitamix, and blend with tofu, maple syrup and salt until smooth; about 15-20 seconds. Divide mixture evenly between the baked tartlet crusts. Bake at 350˚F for 5-6 minutes, then transfer to a wire rack to cool. Refrigerate in an air tight container for up to 3 days.

Yield: 4 4" tartlets

Chocolate chip cookies

If I could choose one dessert to eat for the rest of my life, it'd be chocolate chip cookies. Because they're my favorite dessert in existence. Partly because they're so damn delicious, but mostly because I'm lazy. And making anything that requires more than one bowl couldn't possibly be my favorite.

I could go on and on about these cookies; they stay soft for days, go perfect with a tall glass of milk (and yes, I mean almond milk) and flat out make me swoon. Since these things contain gluten - and I'll have you know I'm not much of a fan of self torture, these days - I can't touch 'em with a ten foot stick. But you probably can. So you should make them, and gloriously stuff them into your face. Because that, my friends, would be the right thing to do. So I can live vicariously through each and every one of you. And I promise it was not my intention for that rhyme.



The trick to these cookies is to take them out a bit early; they'll appear to be underdone, but do not stick them back in the oven. I repeat: DO NOT STICK THEM BACK IN THE OVEN. They don't necessarily require a stand mixer, but I like to use one, as the creaming process is rather lengthy. So I let the stand mixer do it's job and I take a 5 minute coffee break. And for you gluten freebies, you can easily substitute your favorite gluten free flour blend (and xanthan gum) for the all purpose flour. But, I'm not gonna lie - they just don't taste the same.

CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES

1 cup vegan butter 1 cup cane sugar 2 tsp pure vanilla extract 1 1/4 tsp unsulphured molasses 3 tbsp soft silken tofu

3/4 tsp fine sea salt 1/2 tsp baking soda 1/2 tsp baking powder 2 1/4 cups unbleached flour 3/4 cup vegan mini chocolate chips

Preheat oven to 350˚F. Line a large baking sheet with a silicone mat or parchment paper; set aside. In the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, cream the butter, sugar, vanilla extract and molasses on high speed, for 5-6 minutes. Mix in the tofu, just until combined. Add the baking soda, baking powder and salt; blend. Add 1/2 cup flour at a time and mix, on medium speed, until combined. Mix in the chocolate chips. Using a 1 1/2 tablespoon cookie scoop, drop the dough onto the prepared baking sheet (I was able to fit 24 cookies at once). Bake at 350˚F for 9-10 minutes. Transfer to a wire rack to cool, then store in an air tight container for up to one week.

Yield: 45 cookies

Chocolate dipped vanilla bean shortbread

I don't know what's wrong with me. I've been posting a lot about chocolate, lately. Probably becuase I'm not eating it as often, so I live vicariously through posting about it. Which seems to be working considering I can't remember the last time I ate through an entire bag of chocolate chips in one sitting. Progress, people. Progress.

I made these cookies the day after I came home from having my wisdom teeth extracted. Despite being told I would be in excruciating pain, and wouldn't be able to do anything for several days, I was back to my normal self once the anesthesia wore off. Speaking of the anesthesia, that shit made me crazy. So crazy I told Thom I wanted a cheeseburger as soon as I woke up. And a milkshake. A real milkshake made with milk from that thing that goes moo. I think I also referred to myself as a badass (multiple times) when my doctor informed me of how easy my surgery went. Me on drugs is embarrassing, to say the least.

This shortbread recipe is probably one of the easiest recipes I've ever made. The dough comes together within minutes and bakes up perfectly. I didn't intend on dipping them in chocolate, but I couldn't resist once I realized how adorable they'd look as half dipped hearts. If you don't feel like dipping them, you could enjoy the cookies on their own, sans the chocolate. If you want to add additional sugar, feel free to add up to 1/2 cup.

CHOCOLATE DIPPED VANILLA BEAN SHORTBREAD

1 cup vegan butter 1/2 cup powdered sugar 1 vanilla bean, split and scraped

1/4 tsp fine sea salt 2 cups unbleached flour 4 oz dark chocolate, chopped

Preheat oven to 325˚F. Line a large baking sheet with a silicon mat or parchment paper. In a large mixing bowl, cream together the butter, sugar and vanilla bean, using a hand mixer on high speed, for at least 2 minutes. Using a wooden spoon, stir in the salt and flour. Wrap dough in plastic and refrigerate for 90 minutes.

Line a flat surface with parchment paper and sprinkle lightly with flour. Using a rolling pin, roll the dough out until it is 1/4" thick. Use a cookie cutter to cut dough then transfer to the prepared baking sheet. Freeze for 20 minutes then bake at 325˚ for 12 minutes. Transfer cookies to a wire rack to cool. While the cookie are cooling, prepare the chocolate by melting it in a double boiler over medium heat (or a microwave). Dip half of each cookie into the chocolate then place back on the wire rack to harden. Store in an air tight container for up to 3 days.

Yield: 3-4 dozen cookies

Sugar cookies

I've never met a vegan sugar cookie I liked. You read that right, I've never had a good vegan sugar cookie. So a few weeks ago I changed that by creating the most flavorful, vegan sugar cookie in existence. Ok, maybe I'm exaggerating, but this recipe makes some damn good sugar cookies. They're like soft, little pillows of vanilla flavored goodness. And there's no need to coat them in icing because they're delicious on their own. But you can totally do that, if you'd like. I did.

The best part about these cookies isn't the flavor - even though the flavor is spot on - it's the fact that they're tiny and adorable and you can eat ten without making yourself feel completely miserable. But if you're like me you'll find a way to do that, anyway. Like, by pulling out a jar of Justin's chocolate hazelnut spread and eating the cookies like they're dunkaroos. Don't do it. I mean it. Hide the jar in your closet and and spin around 347 times. See? You forgot about the cookies becuase your head's in the toilet throwing up your lunch. Who's good?

If you'd prefer to roll out the cookie dough and use a cutter, add an additional 1/4 cup of flour. You'll also need to chill the dough in the refrigerator for 45 minutes prior to rolling and cutting, then chill the cut dough pieces in the freezer for 10 minutes prior to baking. And these bad boys can easily be made gluten free by replacing the flour with gluten free flour and xanthan gum.

SUGAR COOKIES

1/2 cup vegan butter 1/2 cup cane sugar 1 tsp pure vanilla extract 3 tbsp vegan sour cream Pinch of salt 1/4 tsp baking soda 1 1/4 cups unbleached flour

Icing 1 cup powdered cane sugar 7-8 tsp water Sprinkles, optional

Preheat oven to 350˚F. Line a large baking sheet with a silicon mat or parchment paper; set aside. In a large mixing bowl, cream the butter, sugar, vanilla extract and sour cream using a hand mixer on high speed; mix for 1-2 minutes, or until light and fluffy. Mix in the salt, baking soda and flour; beat just until combined. Using a 1 1/2 teaspoon cookie scoop, drop the dough onto the prepared baking sheet. Sprinkle with sanding sugar, if desired. Bake at 350˚F for 8-9 minutes. Allow to cool on baking sheet for 5 minutes then transfer to a cooling rack. To make the icing, stir together the powdered sugar and water. Dip the top of each cookie into the icing and cover with sprinkle. Store in an air tight container for up to five days.

Yield: 65-70 bite sized cookies

Gingerbread folk

Lately, I've got a slight obsession with bite sized cookies. It all started when I purchased a 1 1/2 teaspoon cookie scoop and, as a result, felt the need to bake bite sized cookies for days on end. I made bite sized gingersnaps, bite sized raw cookies, bite sized chocolate crinkles, bite sized sugar cookies. Bite sized everything. Then, while I was searching for my gingerdead man cookie cutter, I discovered these mini gingerbread folk at the bottom of what is, admittedly, a large container that houses every cookie cutter I own. Friends, I fear the bite sized madness is never going to end. But that's ok, because everything's better when it fits perfectly into your mouth. And no, that was not a sexual connotation. Or was it?

Perverts.

GINGERBREAD FOLK

1/2 cup vegan butter 1/2 cup cane sugar 1/2 cup unsulphured molasses 1 flax egg (1 tbsp flax meal + 2 tbsp water) 3/4 tsp ground ginger

3/4 tsp ground cinnamon 1/2 tsp ground cloves 1/4 tsp fine sea salt 1/2 tsp baking soda 2 1/2 cup unbleached flour

In a large mixing bowl, cream the butter, sugar and molasses, using a hand mixer on high speed, for 20-30 seconds. Beat in the flax egg, ginger, cinnamon, cloves, salt and baking soda, just until combined. Using a wooden spoon, mix in the flour 1/2 cup at a time. Once you've added 2 cups, start mixing in the flour 1/4 cup at a time. If the dough feels firm enough after 2 1/4 cups of flour have been added, omit the last 1/4 cup.

Preheat oven to 350˚F. Line a large baking sheet with a silicon mat or parchment paper; set aside. Line a flat surface with parchment paper and lightly sprinkle with flour. Roll out half of the dough until it is 1/4" thick. Cut dough and transfer pieces to the prepared baking sheet; chill in freezer for 5 minutes prior to baking. Bake at 350˚F for 6-7 minutes. Transfer to cooling rack then store in an air tight container for up to five days.

Yield: 100+ mini gingerbread folk

Chocolate chunk cookie bars

It took me a few days to decide whether I wanted to call these Chocolate Chunk Blondies or Chocolate Chunk Cookie Bars. Because really, is there a difference? After conducting more Google searches than I'm willing to admit, I've come to the conclusion that there isn't. So I flipped a coin and cookie bars won. I wish I was kidding, but I'm not.

Oh, and here's a view from the side. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get ready for my coffee date with Cara.

Update: Cara and I bonded over multiple cups of coffee and steel cut oats. And learned that our lives are eerily parallel. Right down to our tiny bladders. Proof (of us meeting, not of our tiny bladders).

CHOCOLATE CHUNK COOKIE BARS

1/4 cup vegan butter 1 cup cane sugar 1 tbsp unsulphured molasses 1 1/2 tsp pure vanilla extract 3 tbsp soft silken tofu 1/4 cup almond milk

1/2 tsp fine sea salt 1/2 tsp baking soda Pinch of baking powder 2 cups unbleached flour 1/2 cup chocolate chunks

Preheat oven to 350˚F. Line a 9x9 metal baking pan with parchment paper; set aside. In a large mixing bowl, cream the butter, sugar, molasses and vanilla extract using a hand mixer on high speed. Beat for 1-2 minutes, or until light and fluffy. Mix in the tofu, milk, salt, baking soda and baking powder. Add the flour and mix just until combined. Using an offset spatula, spread the batter evenly over the prepared pan. Press the chunks into the top of the dough. Bake at 350˚F for 25-30 minutes. Cut into squares and store in an air tight container for up to three days.

Yield: 16 bars

Gingersnaps

Homemade gingersnaps have intimidated me from day one (and day one was, like, four years ago). I always had a feeling they'd never measure up to the store bought variety because, let's face it, sometimes the big companies just do it better. They spend thousands of dollars developing and perfecting recipes and I can't even begin compete with that. Except, now that I've tackled gingersnaps in my tiny kitchen, I'm fairly certain mine could give Paul Newman's a run for his money.

*And might I add, these go absolutely wonderful with a mug of black coffee. Forget about submerging them in milk; drown your gingersnaps in coffee and you will not be sorry. 

These gingersnaps are thin, crunchy and a little chewy. If you'd prefer them to be soft, store them in an air tight container for a few hours before serving. If you want them to keep their crunch, store them in a not-so-air tight container. I tried convincing myself to reduce the sugar, but I couldn't do it. The sugar is part of what makes them so delicious. And for those of you who are gluten intolerant, simply replace the flour with a gluten-free flour mix and xanthan gum.

GINGERSNAPS (GFO)

1/2 c. vegan butter 3/4 c. cane sugar 1/2 tsp pure vanilla extract 1/4 c. unsulphured molasses 3 tbsp vegan sour cream 1 1/2 tsp ground ginger

3/4 tsp ground cinnamon 1/2 tsp ground cloves 1/4 tsp fine sea salt 1/2 tsp baking soda 1 1/2 c. unbleached flour

Preheat oven to 350˚F. Line two large baking sheets with silicon mats or parchment paper; set aside. In a large mixing bowl, cream together the butter, sugar, molasses, vanilla extract and sour cream (or tofu) using a hand mixer on high speed; beat for 1-2 minutes, until light and fluffy. Add the ginger, cinnamon, cloves, salt and baking soda; mix just until incorporated. Add the flour and mix until combined. Using a medium cookie scoop, drop the dough onto the prepared baking sheets. Bake at 350˚F for 10 minutes. Remove from oven and let cool on cookie sheets for 5 minutes then transfer to a cooling rack. Store in a container for up to three days.

Yield: 30 cookies