Maroon machine smoothie

Maroon machine smoothie

I really wanted to call this purple drank, but I didn't. I didn't even know what it was - I just heard it somewhere and thought it sounded cool - until Thom informed me that it's actually prescription strength cough medicine mixed with soda and jolly rancher candy. And then I decided calling it purple drank might not be a good idea. I don't want you guys to think I'm downing cough syrup cocktails to get better. Because I'm not. But I am getting better! Just not by downing copious amounts of cough syrup.

I don't know if you're aware, but people with lousy colons aren't supposed to take antibiotics. So I've been attempting to rid my body of the bacteria with a shit ton of vegetables, probiotics and running. Five days in and I'm starting to feel a bit better. Better than I should, according to my doctor. All thanks, in part, to this smoothie. 2x a day. But I've got to warn you - it's vegetable heavy and smells like death, but, surprisingly, tastes delicious. And don't be alarmed when your excrement comes out with a red tint. It's not blood. Just the beets. Beets have a tendency to discolor things. Like poop.

MAROON MACHINE SMOOTHIE

1 beet, peeled and sliced
2 carrots, peeled
2 celery stalks
15-20 spinach leaves
1/4 cup chopped cabbage
1/2 cup alfalfa sprouts
1 banana, peeled
1/4 cup fresh blueberries
1 tsp fresh ginger, peeled
2 tbsp lemon juice
1 cup filtered water


In a high speed blender, such as a Vitamix, blend all ingredients until smooth; about 45-60 seconds. You can either strain the pulp and drink the juice, or drink the smoothie as is. I prefer to keep the pulp, as it's loaded with vitamins and will aid in sweeping your innards. But it's completely up to you.

Yield: 2 cups

7 comments:

  1. I don't think I will ever be able to eat sprouts, but I think it would be perfect for me without them. Help me kick these sniffles early.

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  2. Smells of death? Sold! ha. Glad to hear that you are feeling better! ...and that you are still eating your waffles :) xo

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  3. Ahh, so that's what purple drank is. I've always kinda wondered. Good job on avoiding the antibiotics though, apparently they destroy all the happy flora in your digestive system or something? I don't really know, I just know they're bad news.

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  4. I'm glad to hear that you are feeling better! I can't have raw beets, but I'd love to try the rest of the ingredients in this yummy, smell smoothie. Something tells me it's the cabbage that's stinky.. ;)

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  5. Welp, I just caught a nasty virus, so I may be giving this a go! Drinking beets kinda freaks me out, but if it will make be better, I will definitely drink up! Thanks for the recipe!

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  6. Haha! I think it's pronounced dzzzrrraaaaank. Sounds great tho. I love that there are alfalfa sprouts in here; I always mean to do that since they good bad so quickly. Feel better.

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  7. i love that color. yeah the colored excrement scared hubbs to death when we started eating beet.. hope you are feeling better!

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